That would be nice, like the old times.' But eventually, they did find a parking space in an alley behind a Dunkin' Donuts and the girls piled out. Alison had never seen a place move and shake quite like the frat house: the building was dilapidated and strobe lights from within poured out of the windows. At first, the brothers at the door weren't going to let them in, but then Jackie's brother appeared, the girls had stamps on their hand, and they were wandering through the beer-stained rooms.

At first, all of the girls were uncertain about what to do. Then, Bethany and Jackie had an inspiration. "Dance and pretend like you're having fun," whispered Bethany to Alison, and shoved her onto the makeshift dance floor on the first-floor common room.

"I don't know anyone."

"Look like you're having fun and you will," said Jackie.

Alison eventually wandered away from the girls, after they had found freshman boys to flirt with. She looked at her cellphone to see if her parents had called her. They hadn't. They trusted her. She flinched inside.

On the field, she was confident, shouting encouragement to the other girls and waving her stick. She felt alive, then. Here there was nothing but darkness...

A boy grabbed her by the shoulder and gave her a kiss. She pushed him away. Hard.
"Jeez, what kind of an arm do you have on you girl," he said. He looked at her jacket. At first, Alison thought he was going to tell her to get out, because it proclaimed that she was obviously in high school but instead he threw the contents of his beer on the coat. He was drunk already, and muttered something about girls who played sports, only that wasn't the word he used.

Alison went out to Bethany's car. The door was locked. Of course. She looked at the jacket, the jacket that had cost her so many hours of practice, now stained with beer. It was ruined -- even if the stain came out, the felt of the letter would be crushed.

What was wrong with her, Alison wondered. Shouldn't she be having fun? Shouldn't she be finding the whole scenario wicked and delightful? Instead she wished she was really at the movies, or even serving pepperoni pies at Vic's with her parents. She was more upset at the loss of her pristine jacket than the great gulf she felt between herself and her friends. Why was she so weird, why couldn't she have fun like other people? Why did fun always have to be such hard work?